You Can't Make This Stuff Up

In the New York Post: "Louisiana's chief of disaster recovery will lecture in New York today on how to prepare for a catastrophic flood."

I can only imagine what this lecture will be like.

"First thing you want to do is, you want to sit on your ass. No need to get spooked just because a nasty old hurricane is barrelling towards you. What's a hurricane anyway? Just a lot of wind. Wind is just air. Who needs to be afraid of air?

"Next thing you want to do is, you want to tell people, if anyone's afraid, they should mosey on out of the city any old time they feel like.

"After the hurricane hits, if there's anyone who hasn't moseyed yet, you should shove them in a big football stadium and slam the door. That way you don't have to look at 'em. You might also want to get out your Band-Aids and Scotch tape, in case any problems happen with your levees.

"And then, a couple days later, you should complain that the Federal government didn't get its people to you fast enough. Any questions?"

Excuse me, sir -- I have a question. Why didn't you cancel?