Greetings, People of Earth

Here's the vital stats:

Once upon a time, there lived a professional news hack. Never mind where. Never mind how. At some point in his short but glorious career, this hack decided that such concepts as "journalistic objectivity" were a major drag. He grew tired of letting "balance" get in the way of a few good jokes. He decided to get in touch with his inner snark. He acquired a taste for the hand that feeds him. The Hand was born.

In this little space, The Hand wields the pen that's mightier than the sword, the pin that punctures pretense. This is where The Hand gives the finger to stupidity and self-importance. (One may argue that The Hand displays those traits himself from time to time, but The Hand has no problem with civilized argument.)

The Hand declines to give much in the way of identifying details. He feels it's not who he is that's important, it's whether he makes you snarf coffee all over your screen.

So let the games begin. The Hand is now open.